A Concept for Contemplation by Peter O'Neill
I want to move forward and I am prepared to walk away
The above statement is our position of personal power, within it is our strength, courage, independence and wisdom. There is so much to contemplate in the above power statement and how it applies across many areas of life.
In your career it is around expressing what needs to happen for you to sustain peak performance. These are the requirements you need to keep going, just like a car requires petrol to keep running. Generally, our tendency is to over give in the beginning and end up resenting this later as we often suppress our truth. Personal power means being able to clearly express what we need to help us do the job well and also having the strength to draw the line if the environment does not suit you.
Some people just complain, create drama and in-fighting and end up threatening to quit and find another job. A wise person will be able to express with a positive attitude what needs to happen, even if they think that management will not do what needs to be done. The preparedness to walk away with a positive attitude brings with it such a power and energy that it often sparks change. What you will feel if you do walk away is a sense of pride in knowing that you were positive and did your very best to make it work.
This is the same in relationships where we need to have a positive forward mindset and never say things like “If you do that again I am leaving!” Instead of this statement, we need to have a conscious conversation that goes something like “I really want this relationship to work and this is what I believe needs to happen to get through this and make it work. If we can’t achieve that then that’s okay I am prepared to walk away, but I do want to make this work and move forward.”
Imagine this in parenting where you say “I do want to take you out and have fun but if you misbehave then I am prepared to deal with your complaining and just go home, but I do want go out and have fun. Are you prepared to behave yourself and do what it takes to remain this way when we are out?”
Parents often ‘look bad’ because they get triggered off and quit rather than have a want to walk forward attitude.
So often we get caught in expressing what we don’t want to happen rather than what we require or need to happen to breakthrough.
You watch, the next time you ask someone what they want; they will often respond and say what they don’t want. What you will then discover is that many people really do not know what they want or need because they have never spent much time focused on finding out what these things are.
I had a client recently who was in a relationship crisis and I asked her seven times “so what do you want?" but she could not find the place in her mind to come up with one thing that she wanted to happen or what could be done to move forward because her mind was full of all the things that she did not want. And this is why people feel that they have no option but to walk away and it is in these times that you need to get the advice of someone who is objective and to help you point out possible pathways forward because in my world, there are always lots of them but we just can’t see the light at times.
“I want to move forward but I am prepared to walk away”
Say it to yourself 20 or 30 times now and feel the personal power in those words!
This statement is great for our self esteem as we regain confidence and let go of the negative stories that “it’s my fault, that “I don’t have strength” “I am a quitter”, that “I can’t do it!”
Wrong!!!
“I want to move forward. Yes I am prepared to walk away because I have integrity and I do what I believe to be right for all concerned. But I personally want to do what it takes to move forward!!!
“I want to move forward but I am prepared to walk away”
Hope this helps
Peter O’Neill
P.S. Remember to get some help and advice if you are in a sticky, messy or difficult situation. Just one or two personal sessions with me will be enough to give you clear and purposeful direction. It may be easy for you to think of the path walking away but I can help you find many pathways (with strategy) forward.
Appointments are available over Skype from anywhere in the world. Email iam@peteroneill.com.au for a booking
